Wednesday, November 9, 2016

She does not even know!

Its been a few weeks now since she told me goodbye, when we finally spoke by phone of this she was not even shy, but she does not really know how I actually feel, so I share more words in rhyme to explain how my heart she came to steal...

Yes I admit she was young, too young many had said, but then they never slept with her like me in my bed, they had never kissed her or held her hand and they never had a clue how smart she was as those things of my attention did land...

She dropped me so fast and disappeared without a trace, my mind ran wild with "why" as it did ponder and race, and I knew before her that there was no loyalty in youth, as I held my composure without reply as a matter of couth...

When I am in bed, sometimes I remember her there, she would snuggle close to me and want me to play with her hair, she did really like me or at the time so it did seem, but was that all fake, as it is almost like a dream...

Part of me lies and suggests there will never be another like her, but this lie is a lie because for like her others were, the lie continues because I have a gift from within, that intoxicates baby girls like her with my energy like no one with they have ever been...

The sadness still comes and hits my heart like a drum, falling for her I knew that my actions were so dumb, but being with her although short in the amount of time, was one of the most awesome experiences, I would even say it was sublime...

Does she think about me any at all, even if for me she never did fall, does she miss being with me even in secret not to tell, since no other she would have told even if she would have fell...

You can never again capture what has truly been lost, its best to let it go and to be at peace with it no matter the cost, the temptation just to see if you even could, revisit a past situation is still there but of not you really should...

She still has a part of me freely given in our dance, but does she even care, not likely any measure of chance, truly one person will fall as they always seem to do, and the other will not, so sad but so very true...

From my soul to hers I will not bother you as you will see, I wish you great happiness even if it is not with me, I want for you what you want for you and nothing more, so have fun with the other souls that you choose to explore...

I am using this blog to express openly what I feel inside, so strong are my emotions that of them I cannot hide, so deep her impact on me that even in my loss I smile, as her energy will still affect me, it will do so for a long while...

As a master I never use magic to force what cannot naturally be, unless a force of action without a negative result is created so free, and my use of the magic is pure, it is clean and not dark, as my light shines for others who with great vision can see my small spark!