Still...
I still think of her every single day, looking at her photos on my cell phone display, she got to me as I have said before, so sad of her I was unable to more deeply explore...
I knew that she was one of a kind, the kind of girl who could blow my mind, and she did this clearly with such ease, losing her feels like a really bad disease...
I ponder often what could of been, if she would have let me get past being her friend, and although we were lovers I know something few ever realize, like a daydreamer looking at a cloud in clear blue skies...
A sinking pleasure I acknowledge from deep inside, where secrets are kept that I intend to hide, as magical as an enchanting spell, her mystery is one reason I easily fell...
Not over her still, may never really be for real, not wanting to really truth be told, confessions here in words so bold...
Then I had an experience which has repeated over and over again, another laid with me like she laid with me and all I wanted to be was her friend, because I could not give her what was not there, oh man what is so wild is this is what she had to be thinking when time we did share...
Usually what you do comes back multiplied in some way, but this came to me as an experience after passed the day, so I realize for myself what I had with her, was what another had with me as seemingly it were...
Too deep really for most to catch the story, as we remember our past moments of glory, but for those who look between the lines they will see, a heart felt expression freely blogged by me...
This young girl, so awesome and so very fine, one who I really, really want to make all mine, could never give herself completely to me, so as a result all I could do is let her go free...
Memories like this will last the test of time, as I recall what took place between her and I in words of rhyme, her photos are now all that I have to feel, the residual energy she left behind that is so unreal...
To the SOULS I have hurt my apologies are sincere, to have another like her never as one thing I fear, is the devalue of those memories that may surely come, when my heart for her no longer beats like a drum...
I cannot let anyone again have me in that same place, where my heart beats non-stop and my mind does race, because we were on a train that was running out of track, as I could hardly think much less keenly react...
She still has me though, I wonder if she ever thinks of me or no, but I think of her day and night, as I recall the memories of my time with her as my thoughts take flight...
Still weak I admit and it is hard to do, but because of her I state what is very true, and because of the few kisses we shared that were so real, my heart in a blog I shamelessly let spill...
Read the previous posts that I wrote about her in this blog and think, would you have let yourself so deeply sink, into another who toyed with you for a short period of time and then, disappeared into the mist like a dream whose text would not even send...
I am not over her and I take all the blame, as I do not want to be over her what a shame, I love the pain that is like a cut that never heals, as pain is like truth, you never know what all it eventually reveals...
