Saturday, June 10, 2017

I just saw her...

I just saw her, or so I thought,

Her blonde hair out of the corner of my eye I caught,

She looked sad and that is what I never wanted for her,

She was so gorgeous though, as if she never were...

I think of her almost every single day,

Remembering the only thing she wanted was for her hair for me to play,

I could not be the man for her that I was inside,

So all of my deepest feelings from her I had to hide...

Other influences played a role in me letting her go,

Circus clowns really and they don't even know,

She was mine though, even if only for a short while,

I am sure she remembers how easy it was for me to make her smile...

I never knew pain like that of losing her to someone else who,

May have drawn her in, but to her could never be true,

She had me like no other, that is for real,

So in this blog with no names I express how I feel...

I listen to music, the type we both liked and then,

I think thoughts of what if this way or that it could have been,

Laugh now those idiots who are stuck in a rut,

Pathetic their lives, on the edge of loss doors are shut...

I knew I would see her but had no idea it would be this soon,

The sun had just set and there was a bright glow to the moon,

The store was packed and she did not see me at all,

I set outside for one more look upon the baby girl who made me fall...

Its all good really, this too shall pass,

Half full already, my own personal glass,

I know before I ever start playing the game again,

No one will ever get to me like her and all from now will be just a friend...

At night sometimes I can feel her leg across me,

I sleep so peacefully dreaming of how that will be,

She thinks of me, I know this for sure,

My loss a disease of which there is no cure...

The last photo I took, her wearing jeans so tight,

I knew then it was the last I would ever get that very night,

Funny how you know things about the future like that,

I sit there and look, on the bed where I had sat...

She needed more than I could have given then,

No need for regret, no help from the absolute in the end,

I was on my own with that loss and I will never forget,

How she was mine for a short while, that gift she had let...

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

After a little time...

...its been a little while now, seems like forever ago, her affects on me are still very real but no one in my life will know, she came into my life but she was never going to stay, girls like her are intoxicating in that special way...

...damn the pain is delicious in a weird kind of sense, listening to music today my memories of her so very intense, she got to me, only a very few have ever done that, most shared their feelings in the past while there I just sat...

...it was bound to happen, you know what you put forth comes back, always multiplied from the Universe, good or bad, but never in lack, we create our own reality so I guess I needed her only for a while, as I reflect on her being with me all I can do is smile...

...life is never really lived until you have lost something you cannot replace, as we make time everyday for the desires of our hearts we do chase, we all likely want what we cannot seemingly have and now, instead of accepting that reality, we ponder and ponder as to how...

...a bath for the soul is when you break down and cry, something you would never do if you are an alpha male type of guy, but to cry in private and visualize what if scenarios about her, is the most delicious of pains, of at least for me there ever were...

...I want her so bad but I know this from within, we could never ever reconnect as having been lovers we could not just be friends, when I listen to the music we loved listening to together on our drives, I hope we share the same memories when we each reflect back on our lives...

...the journey to nowhere is the path most people take, my journey is however different as my path alone I choose to make, visions of a future where just a glimpse of her I will see, a better place for myself, where I am proud to now be...

...can you read between the lines of this poem I selectively share, or does the words not touch you because you have no reason to care, if it has not happened to you yet, the same thing may surely visit you, then we will share a bond like no other, telling stories of what we once knew...

...I would rather have fell hard for someone I had lost, than to have never had met her as that would have been a greater loss, I still remember looking at her when she was with me, knowing she would soon be gone and now to be just a memory!

Her Affect on Me is still so very real!